Herpes Dating Articles

Rising STD rate sparks online dating sites

Story Highlights
• Rise in STD's sparks online dating, support communities
• Groups provide understanding, acceptance members say
• One site herpes dating lists events for people with herpes in 40 cities
By Elizabeth Cohen. CNN

When John got divorced after 12 years of marriage, he took a deep breath and launched into the dating scene.
"And wham, with my very first girlfriend, I caught herpes," he says. "You feel betrayed and all of a sudden separated from the rest of the world. I thought at the time that the girl who gave it to me and I were the only people in the world who had it."
But John and his date are far from alone. And the growing number of people in similar situations has created a new industry: Internet dating sites just for people with STDs. From MPWH.com to sites such as PositiveSingles.com and PositiveLove.com Herpes Dating Web sites abound fro those "Living With STD's".

It's not surprising once you see the numbers. One in four women is infected with genital herpes, and nearly one in five men according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And a study in this week's Journal of the American Medical Association finds that one in four women has human papillomavirus, which can cause genital warts and cervical cancer. Once John got over the initial shock of his diagnosis, one of the first things he did was go online.

"I went on Craig's List and posted a note that said, 'I live in Charlotte, North Carolina, and I'm a decent professional man, and I've ended up with this.' Someone then contacted me and said, 'Have you heard of Charlotteh?'"
Once John joined Charlotteh.comexternal link - part support group, part dating site for people with herpes - everything changed. "I would have been happy to have had just one person to unload everything I was feeling," he says. "Instead I found more than 500."

"Charlotteh" was started two years ago by Pam - who, like John, doesn't want her last name used. She discovered she had herpes, and dating had become difficult.
"I'm 27, working on a Ph.D., own a second home, I have a master's degree, but when I go into a relationship, I bring this with me, and that's hard," she says.
Even knowing when to tell a prospective boyfriend about herpes is tough. "It's confusing, because you don't know when the right time is to tell somebody. Should you be up front and get it over with or wait until the person develops feelings for you? It's a big ethical problem."

For Jennifer Nicholas, it was more than just an ethical problem. Once she told men she was dating about herpes, many ran in the opposite direction.
"One guy, I thought he was Mr. Perfect. But then when I told him that I had herpes, he said, 'Forget my phone number, forget my address,' and he blocked me from being able to message him on the computer," she says.
Jennifer joined atlantahclub.com, another site for people with herpes. These sites immediately take several questions off the table. Members don't have to worry about when to tell other members they have herpes, since everyone in the group does. And they don't have to worry about spreading herpes, since the other members already have it.

Pam says at first, people are very nervous about joining, because it may be the first time they identify themselves as having herpes.
"People show up for their first support group meeting and sometimes they turn right around at the door because they don't have the courage to come in," said Pam. But then later, "I have people sending me thank you e-mails all the time. A guy came to a support group meeting and sent me flowers."

Since many of the members have not come out to family and friends, a password is needed to get into the photo gallery showing pictures of social events and to receive any specific information about members. A big part of STD Internet groups is social outings. One site, H2Ofriends.com, lists events for people with herpes in some 40 cities, from San Francisco, California, to Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

Some events attract hundreds of people. They look just like any other large party. "When we go on outings, we don't put a sign up in the hallway saying, 'Meeting of the Charlotte herpes club,'" Pam said, "Once we went to dinner and there were 30 of us and the hostess asked, 'What's the special occasion?' My friend said, 'We're the Charlotte pottery club!'"

CNN Medical News senior producer Jennifer Pifer contributed to this report.

Article Source:  http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/conditions/02/27/std.internet/index.html

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Does The Answer To This Question Determine If You Use A Condom Or Not When Having Sex With A Woman

Having sex without a condom feels better, any man who tells you different is lying.
Asking a woman if she is clean, does not make having sex with her any safer.
If a woman has an STD and is concerned enough about you not getting it, she will either not have sex with you or make sure that you have and use a condom.
On the other hand, a woman who has an STD and is not concerned about you getting it, will have unprotected sex with you and say she is clean if you ask.
In both cases, if you are concerned enough to ask it is in your best interest to put a condom on.
Of course, this is all under the assumption that the woman even knows if she has an STD or not.
It would be nice if STD's had easy symptoms to spot, yet the truth of the matter is some STD's have no symptoms, some only show up in women, and some only in men.
In other words, she believes she is clean because she has no symptoms (how most people check) you have unprotected sex with her because you believe she is clean.
Two weeks later you get a STD like Chlamydia and think that the girl who you slept with 2 days ago using the same "Are You Clean" method gave it to you; since she was the last person you had sex with.
Now, all three of you have it and hopefully you go to the doctor to get it treated and learn that you need to always wear a condom if you want to stay clean.
In the end, it is important to realize that using a condom is the safest way to go and asking if she is clean is the dumbest question that a man can ever ask a woman before having sex.

Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men who has a daily newsletter that provides you with a wealth of information on how to be more successful with women. You can sign up for the Teddy Shabba Dating Advice Newsletter for Men now.
Also with over 500 articles from a variety of dating experts just for men our Dating Advice and Seduction Article Database is the perfect place for any man.
To learn more about How To Attract Women visit our article section Attract Women Today.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Teddy_Shabba

http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/blogs/paging.dr.gupta/2007/03/stds-and-single-girl-and-guy.html

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STDs and the single girl (and guy)!

CNN Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and I have been impressed with all the response we've received regarding our story on dating with a sexually transmitted disease (STD). (Full Story)

So many people have commented on Jennifer's bravery and the fact that by telling her story, they no longer feel alone. It is our hope that her honesty will lead to an authentic and substantive conversation about STD's and dating. We've also received a few emails saying there is much more to discuss. We agree, but unfortunately, there is only so much time on TV.

That's the great thing about the internet. We open the forum to you. .... What is it like to live .. to date ... with a STD?
Posted By Jen Pifer, Senior Producer, Medical News: 2:20 PM ET

Comments:-

I totally understand Jenniefer and why she felt a need to create a dating site for people like her, as a single women in a similar situation (I was recently diagnosed HIV+) I can relate. It has been my experience that when telling people about your status (whether it be herpes, hiv or something else) you never can guess how they are going to react and therefore are putting yourself in a very vulnerable place. These type of dating sites help get that vulnerable feeling out of the way. From the second you logon everyone knows, and understands (since they too are in the same boat) so there is no need to get nervous about disclosure.

Unfortunately there is also a downside, many people get on these herpes dating sites only to find someone to have unprotected sex with. Some use these sites more as a way to have random sexual encounters rather than make contact with people that may relate to their situations. It makes it hard to find people for any kind of serious relationship from friendship to dating.
Posted By Carmen, Atlanta : 4:31 PM ET  

Timely and important topic, both for those who have STDs and those who don't. Recently, following 3.5 years of a monogamous relationship with my incredibly special girlfriend she admitted that she'd been infected with Herpes during her second year in college and her last outbreak had been 10 years ago. At first it made my head reel, yet because of my love for her I couldn't hold it against her that she'd been hesitant to tell me. When we first became involved I'd intended to ask her if there was anything she wanted to tell me in that regard, but didn't want to potentially insult her. She, in turn, was hesitant to potentially lose someone with whom she was falling in love. Lesson? Don't be too shy or afraid to be honest, whether if it's to ask, or whether it's to tell....it's too important an issue to not talk about.
Posted By Bill Ortiz, Long Beach, CA : 5:07 PM ET  

I appreciate CNN showing even a small part of the story because it shows that there are options for people where they can find support, love and understanding.I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for all that love and support. Herpes is for life but it doesn't mean the end of that life.
Posted By Jennifer Nicholas, Atlanta GA : 5:37 PM ET

Article Source: http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/blogs/paging.dr.gupta/2007/03/stds-and-single-girl-and-guy.html

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What Are Sexually Transmitted Diseases?

STDs are infections that can be spread by having sex with another person who is infected. Most STDs are curable. Some are not. If you have sex with someone who has an STD, you can get it too. Many people who have an STD don't know it. They may look healthy, but they still could have a STD. Some people won't tell you, even if they know. Look through the list below to find more information about a particular STD.